Gatecrashing the Coat-Tail Club

Tah-Dah

I'd Swallow A Dead Rat If It Got Rid of John Key

But I wouldn't want my daughter to date one.

Tariana Turia, Dumpster Diver

His Bobness's former differently abled deputy now aiming to be the Member for Stewart Island, among other places. If that other malformed monument to voter apathy, former Councillor Keown, had been able to be passed off as Tangata Whenua we'd probably have heard about it by now.

Not So Secret Agent Key

Cow Farts Caused Chch Floods

This Succession Thing

Hell, if Piggy could do it...

Cabinet Clubbing

Oravida Exorcist

Suck On This, Suckers

While the National Party of New Zealand is not currently a brand of Philip Morris International, anything's possible with this lot.